


The Last Standing

by rhyfel



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27461563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhyfel/pseuds/rhyfel
Summary: Bobby is 17 and playing the Orpheum for the first time.Trevor is 42 and his brothers are dead.Bobby's life through the lens of the Orpheum Theatre.Julie and the Phantoms Appreciation Week: Fanfiction prompt: write something set in canon-verse
Comments: 6
Kudos: 92
Collections: JATP Appreciation Week





	The Last Standing

Bobby is 17 and playing the Orpheum for the first time. They’ve been working for this for years and now that it’s finally happening he’s got so much adrenaline he feels like he’ll join Alex in puking in the bathroom if he eats anything. So he waves them off, knowing Luke isn’t going to shut up about how big of a night it is for them and Alex’s anxiety will just feed his own. Instead he’ll casually flirt with the cute bartender, take some time to calm down, and let Reggie handle the other guys.

* * *

Bobby is 17 and his brothers are dead. He’s staring blankly at Alex’s face in an open casket and all he can think is _they cut his hair._ He’s not sure he’ll ever stop crying. 

* * *

Trevor is 20 and his manager has booked the Orpheum for the last venue on his tour.

He doesn’t go.

* * *

Trevor is 24 and playing the Orpheum for the first time. Again.

His manager told him in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t allowed to cancel, so he’s lying on his back on the couch in the green room pleasantly high, ignoring the band chatting away behind him. They’ve already decided on the set list, and if everything goes according to plan, he won’t have to play anything written by Luke while looking out at an audience he never got to see.

Then the new drummer – Jeff? – says, “Hey T, you ever played here before?” and he’s turning to answer, to give some pithy reply, to _not_ yell at the drummer since he goes through them so fast as it is. But instead he focuses on the posters of bands who’ve played the Orpheum in the past. Sunset Curve isn’t there. Sunset Curve will never be there.

Trevor is puking on the drummer – Josh? Definitely something with a “j” – and everyone is shouting, and he just wants the night to be _over_ and he hasn’t even started playing yet.

* * *

Trevor is 27 and wouldn’t have gone out if he knew they’d be ending up at the Orpheum. He’s laser focused on the conversation, not the up-and-coming band, the heat of the lights, the bartender who, in the right light, looks like Rose did. There’s a lull in the conversation as the band switches to a new song and in that split-second pause Trevor hears an ambulance drive past.

The new song is much faster paced, and he feels his own heart start racing in response. The room is starting to feel hot and sweat pricks along his forehead. Suddenly he feels like he can’t breathe and he needs to get out of there and he’s in the bathroom and doesn’t know how he got there and he’s going to die and isn’t it poetic that he’ll die where they died and he’s going to die he’s going to die he’s going to _die._

An hour later, he’s not dead. He’s still sitting in the bathroom, but now he’s aware enough that he’s disgusted by the floor. He brushes himself off, finds his group to make an excuse, and goes home to make an appointment with a therapist.

* * *

Trevor is 42 and his brothers are still dead. He thinks he’ll always have days where he can’t tell if he wishes he stopped them from getting street dogs or joined them, but his therapist says that he shouldn’t feel guilty and he knows what his triggers are and he meditates and works out every day. So, really, he’s fine. Recovery is a process. If one day during meditation he hears some old Sunset Curve music or thinks he sees his old name in the steam on the bathroom mirror or he feels trapped when the door gets stuck, he knows it’s just his brain playing tricks.

It must be, because what happened was impossible.

And when he sees Luke and Alex and Reggie in Julie’s YouTube video, that’s _also_ impossible.

Here is how Trevor expects it to go: He expects to walk into the Orpheum with Carrie at his side, a reminder that he did something worthwhile that wasn’t because of the band. He will avoid looking at the doorway where he hit his head when Luke gave him a piggyback ride, the spot on the ground that Reggie kissed in sheer joy, and bathroom where Alex puked before sound check and he had a panic attack ten years later. When someone asks him about the first time he played the Orpheum, he will think about changing out of vomit covered clothes and apologizing to Jack, not sitting on the stage waiting for people who would never return. Julie will perform and he will hear _her_ and not Luke. He will see _her_ bandmates who will look different from his. After the performance he will tell her she did a great job and he will make an appointment to get his meds checked because they are clearly causing hallucinations. He will not see the ghosts of his bandmates out of the corner of his eyes or hear laughter and riffs where there shouldn’t be any and he _will not_ let twenty-five-year-old memories control his life.

That is not how it goes.

Instead Trevor hears Julie thank three friends and he thinks of his band. He sits very still, eyes focused on Julie and not the empty stage next to her. He avoids thinking too hard about the voices in his head that sound like Reggie and Luke and Alex saying how good she is, what the song is missing, whether she’s nervous. The song continues and it hits a point where she starts belting and he begins thinking the holograms won’t come out. He relaxes.

And then Alex and his drums pop onto the stage and Reggie and his bass and they’re right where they would have been if Sunset Curve had gotten the chance to play. And then Luke flickers in and it’s the whole band. And it _is_ them. Dressed in clothes he’s never seen them wear, playing a song that is so clearly Julie and her mom’s and yet Luke’s as well.

The song ends and Trevor’s brain feels like it’s in overdrive. He’s glued to his seat trying to make pieces fit. How could Julie know what the guys looked like, unless Rose said something. But then why would she wait until now. And how did she make the holograms so realistic. Did Ray help? Does Julie know about his part in their story? He thinks he should call his lawyer or his manager or his therapist.

Carrie is standing next to him clapping, the boys have disappeared, and he doesn’t know where to go from here.


End file.
